Yuni are you saying I need work????

yikes... yeah that would be a tough Christmas gift to open.......

do you hug them ...... or slap them?

thanks?????

I needed a new pair of earmuffs?

Seems like a really bad idea to me. Return the favor with a membership to the Clue-of-the-Day Club.

Hmmm, I have some Stripper friends that would jump all over this! And hey, if it makes someone feel better about themselves, who is Dutch to say that new titties is a bad thing....

I want Butt implants

This is so funny (even though I missed the listing).

My sister had a boob job (among other things) last year and was so pleased with her results that she wanted to buy me one for Christmas, but I have a veeeery loooooong scar from open heart surgery when I was a little sprout and that makes things more complicated.

Additionally, she put a condition on the boob job--I could only have it if I agreed to a tummy tuck at the same time because she's always been terribly embarrassed to be seen with me (apparently) because of my enormous belly. Those of you who've seen me know how embarrassing it is for others to be seen with me because of this gross congenital deformity. Thank heavens I never had any poor unsuspecting children to pass it on to!

So, a couple of months goes by and I haven't spoken to my sister for awhile and she calls me out of the blue and says (sounding very, very forlorn) "I have some really bad news."

Instantly I get alarmed, thinking that something has happened to one of our parents or our brother or his family or maybe even her dog, so I braced myself for this really bad news.

"Well," she said. "Things aren't going so well at my job so I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to buy you that surgery this year."

I started laughing uncontrollably and this really pissed her off.

"What's so fucking funny?" she wanted to know. She really didn't know.

I mean, how fucking shallow is someone to think it's gonna be a huge blow to another person to be told they will just have to live with keeping their body the way it is rather than having the entire front of it opened up, torn apart and restructured? Who wouldn't be disappointed upon finding they will not needlessly be able to suffer excruciating pain?